Simt….


12190053_914038642010202_5412670868613203423_n

Simt…simt ca trebuie sa scriu, sa scriu despre aceasta tragedie care a avut loc in noaptea de 30 octombire la clubul Colectiv din Bucuresti. In noaptea aia veneam acasa, nu , nu in Romania, in Germania, unde locuiesc de 2 ani deja.Fusesem in tara pt 2 saptamani, sa ii mai vad si eu pe ai mei, sa merg impreuna cu prietenul meu la o nunta, prieteni din copilarie de-ai lui. Asa ca ne-am luat 2 saptamani ca sa simtim ca suntem acasa, adevarata noastra casa, la CLuj. Am plecat si noi ca si multi alti Romani in strainatate, pentru un viitor , am vrut sa zic mai bun, dar de fapt doar un viitor, pentru ca multi stim ca in Romania e foarte greu sa castigi destul sa poti intemeia o familie. Noi vrem sa ne cumparam o casa, de aia ma plecat. Vrem sa ne introarcem cat de repede posibil, in vreo cativa ani, dupa ce reusim sa ne facem o situatie materiala stabila, in Romania. Dar asta nu e important acum. Important e ca am aflat in drum spre Germania, pe masina , cand eram prin Austria la radio nemtesc ca a fost un incendiu intr-un club din Romania. Nu m-am gandit ca ar fi asa de grav. Am ajuns acasa, ne-am pus sa dormim, tocmai facusem 14 ore de drum si eram obositi. A doua zi m-am dezmeticit cat de cat si am inceput sa intru pe facebook, ca tot romanul, si am fost asaltata de posturi si de stiri despre Colectiv. Am fost curioasa, sa vedem, care e baiul. Si am vazut poze, filmari, posturi, 27 de oameni morti, peste o suta in spital, teribil.Nu am mai avut linsite , am stat ore in sir pe retele si pe posturi de stiri sa vad ce se mai intampla.Am citit tot ce am gasit , peste tot, si m-a impresionat, mult.

Am inceput sa imi fac ganduri, puteau fi prietenii mei, oricare dintre ei, am facut si eu partea din generatia rock de la mine din liceu, pot sa ma calific „satanista” ca si alti tineri sau batrani, ca nu doar tinerii asculta rock, putea sa fiu si eu acolo. Putea sa fie un club de manele si tot m-ar fi afectat la fel, nu ma intelegeti gresit. Daca se intampla ceva de genu oriunde altundeva tot atat de grav era pt mine, pt noi toti , pt Romania. Au mai fost tragedii, cu mult mai multe morti, dar asta m-a afectat cel mai mult. AM 27 de ani, pot sa zic ca acolo a ars generatia  mea, si doare cand te gandesti la copii aia morti sau arsi prin spitale, imi dau lacrimile .Nu cunoasc personal probabil, pe nimeni care au fost implicati, zic probabil, ca nu stiu cine este prin spitale. CHiar azi mi-am facut curaj sa il intreb pe fostul meu prieten dintra-a 11, care locuieste in Bucuresti, daca e ok, pt ca vroiam sa stiu daca e bine, chiar daca nu mai vorbisem cu el de ani de zile si nu ne mai leaga nimic, tot m-ar fi durut sa stiu ca e ars si sufera prin spitale, e bine, o prietena de-a lui nu, are 40% arsuri pe corp si e in spital.Majoritatea bucurestenilor din generatia mea cu interes pt rock probabil au pierdut pe cineva sau se ingrijoreaza de unul sau alt prieten care e intubat sau in stare grava. Sunt multi care inca mai lupta pt viata, 88 de persoane ziceau la televizor.De asemeane pronosticurile sunt grimm ca sa zic asa, se spune ca sunt multi foarte grav care -sar putea sa isi piarda batalia. se spune ca numarul mortilor s-ar putea chiar dubla. Cred ca acum toti ne temem de stiri, sa zica ca a mai murit unul, sau poate doi, cum a fost luni si marti, de a crescut numarul lor la 32.Am facut greseala sa vad videoul de pe youtube necenzurat de la locul tragedie, si am vazut imagini teribile cu tineri carbonizati pe ciment, morti sau in stare grava. Ma  urmareste si acum imaginea lor, dar vroiam sa stiu, sa simt. Am citi de mai multe ori liste cu cei decedanti, am incercat sa ma informez despre fiecare in parte, pt ca simteam ca am pierdut pe cineva aprope, chiar daca nu ii cunosteam. Am vrut sa imi ingravez in suflet numele lor, ca sa nu ii uit niciodata, ei sa traiasca inca prin noi, Am citi si depsre Adrian Rugina, al carui nume nu il stiam pana acum, cum  a murit salvandu-i pe alti . Si ceilalti eroi care au murit protejand pe altcineva.incerc sa ma pun in locul lor, ce as fi facut eu? as fi scapat?…Nu stiu, sunt o fata mica , nu cred ca as fi putut sa trec de mormanul de oameni care s-a creat la iesire de oamenii ingroziti de foc.Si fumul acela negru, otravit, a facut multe victime.

Ca orice roman sunt revoltata de ignorarea regulilor, strainii proababil nu inteleg de ce dam vina pe guvern, pe mita, pe oameni corupti. Doar romanul stie cat trebuie sa sufere din cauza nerespectarii normelor si reguilor de mai marii am vrut sa zic nostrii, dar ei nu stunt ai nostrii, sunt doar ai lor, pt ca nu respecta deloc poporul, sunt doar in interesele lor personale acolo sus.E extrem de pacat ca au murit oamenii din cauza lor. Patronii clubului au fpst inconstienti cand au renovat clubul si au folosit acele materiale ieftine, probabil nu si-au permis altceva, asta nu ii scuza bineinteles. Noi stim ca la noi sunt 2 tabere in popor, patroni, care se simt presus de orice si considera ca angajatii lor nu merita nimic…de ce credeti ca salariile sunt asa de mici la noi, pt ca nimeni nu vrea sa plateasca. Am lucrat de la 19 ani, ca sa pot sa imi platesc facultatea , stiu ce zic, am lucrat la diversi patroni, romanii, si nu pot sa zi ca mi s-au respectat drepturile orinde am lucrat, pt ca la noi doar banul are putere, nu ce simte omul acela care iti face tie bani.

Imi place ca romanul a iesit in strada, ca nu mai poate trai asa, parintii nostri simt acuma ce am simtit si noi cand au fost ei plecati prin strainatate, neputinta de a trai bine la tine in tara, simt dorul de copii plecati. cei care au copii acasa se uita la ei cum nu reusesc sa isi gaseasca un loc de munca in functie de inteligenta si educatia lor, si sunt indignati, ca au platit, au platit mult si au sacrificat sa poata sa le ofere copiilor un viitor care le este furat acum de parlamentarii lacomi. Iar tinerii care au ramas , au tinut mai mult la tara lor decat la nevoile lor. nevoi simple. in piramida nevoilor, era hrana si dupa adapostul ,  siguranta,tot romanul stie ca la noi nu poti sa iti iei un apartament decat cu rate pe 50 de ani, ceea ce e cu totul absurd.Au ales sa lupte inauntru, sa incerce sa schimbe ceva. Acum un an am fost si eua colo pe  straziile dint Stuttgart de nu ne-au lasat sa votam, nu ca erau cozii , ca era pre amulta lume, nu draga, pur si simplu nu ne-au lasat sa intram, sa votam. Asta e adevarul, nu incompetenta, rea vointa a fost acolo.Pe la 8 seara, deja statema de 10 ore la coada, am ajuns si noi mai in fata si am vazut ca defapt nu intra nimeni, avansul cred ca era datorat de oamenii care se dadeau batuti si plecau, nu ca ar fi votat.S-a iesit in strada si atunci  si am reusit sa il avem pe Iohannis, dar schimbarile inca nu au venit, si nu pot sa vina atata timp cat doar se face rotatia acolo la Parlament, si se schimba oaia dar lupul ramane la putere. Ma simt neputincioasa ca nu pot sa fiu si eu acolo in Piata Universitatii si sa ii sprijin pe romani, munca ma tine aici. Majoritatea romanilor din straintate cred ca se simt asa, neputincioasa, neputand sa fim si noi acolo, sa sustinem, sa ne sustinem tara, sa o facem mai buna. sper din tot sufletul sa reusim sa facem schimbare de care are Romania atata nevoie, vreau sa pice toti parlamentarii, toti, sa eradicam clasa politica, sa ii facem pe intelectualii si pe rockeri nostri care gandesc lideri si reprezentanti, oameni care stiu si au fost acolo, in viata de zi cu zi a noastra, a romanilor, care stiu ce inseamna viata in Romania, cu toate nedreptatiile si pilele si durerea, inegalitatea, obstacolele.

SIncere condoleante tuturor care au pierdut pe cineva drag in aceasta tragedie, ma simt si eu ca si Adi Despot de la Vita de VIe, pe care il respect enorm pentru caracterul lui si pentru sinceritatea lui , o victima a nepotismului si a ignorantei care a dus la aceasta tragedie , pt ca si eu sufar, noi toti suferim. Noi toti am pierdut ceva in acea seara fatidica,unii din pacate mai multi decat altii.Tinerii aceia care au fost curmati, viitorul lor, si noi l-am pierdut nu doar ei, Vreau ca tot romanul sa fie unul si sa lase prejudecatiile si sa traga acum unde conteaza, la schimbare.

Unul dintre socurile care mi le-a provocat aceasta tragedie au fost oamenii care i-au condamnat pt ca ascultau rock, nu pot sa cred ca cineva poate sa gandeasca asa , sa zica ca ei erau satanisti, lispa asta de educatie si de moralitate de la noi trebuie sa ia sfarsit. Nu se poate sa zici asa ceva, sa gandesti asa ceva, ca bine le-a facut pt ca faceau ritualuri satanice? Preotii sa se exprime asa? Eu nu sunt o presoana relgiosa, nu pentru ca ascult rock, pentru ca am fost dezamagita total de reprezentantii Biserici si aviditatea lor dupa banii, care a fost demonstrata acum in acest ceas negru de catre Patriarhul Daniel, care s-a comportat mai rau ca un mafiot, mafiotii tin la familia lor si o protejeaza, nu o condamna. Patriarhul ar trebui sa fie parintele spiritual al Natiunii , si atunci el isi condamna copii? Ce fel de parinte face asa ceva? Ce fel de parinte cere bani in schimbul ajutorului sau invitatii cand copii sunt in necaz, mai ales un necaz asa de mare?

Scriu acest post si le ascult muzica celor de la Goodbye to Gravity, sunt buni, din pacate nu am auzit de ei pana acum cu aceasta tragedie, im palce ce aud, am inceput bineinteles cu piesa lor, The day we die, pot sa zic ca se vede ca promiteau mult, sper ca chitaristii sa se odihneasca in pace . Vreau ca ceilalti trei din spital, ceilalti care sunt tot grav sa isi revina, vreau ca viitorul lor sa continue, poate chiar si trupa lor sa ramana un omagiu pt cei pierdutii, sa continue sa lupte si sa continue cu pasiunea lor , muzica.Sper din tot sufletul ca viitorul lor sa continue si a razbeasca din aceasta grea incercare.

Simple sophisticated.Decor nunta de proba 2014 Hotel Bellaria.

This gallery contains 12 photos.


Originally posted on Unique Moments:
Nunta de proba 2014, un eveniment mult asteptat de toti mirii acestui an care vor avea nunta la Hotel Bellaria. Programul serii a inclus defilări de rochii de mireasă, prezentări de ţinute masculine, tendinţe în coafură şi machiaj, muzică live, decoruri speciale, bijuterii desăvârşite, sugestii de voiaje de nuntă, reprize…

trying…

11143728_1045032078857570_1930334517424902447_n

So, i guess i am trying to change myself again, as a person,i have gotten to a stalemate were i feel like i became a worse version of myself. I feel like 3 years ago me was better at everything. Sometimes you go back instead of going forward, i have only myself to blame for this.I became extremely lazy and complacent, i became very comfortable with not doing anything that required effort..went to work, came home, spent all my hours on the internet or watching anime. i recently realized that i didn’T grew anymore. i saw a video online about self growth, and not being the same person you were 2 years ago, and i realized i am worse..I gained weight, i didn’t take care of myself properly, like i used to do, i used to spend hours after a bath making my self beautiful and comfortable in my own skin, and then i stopped..i feel like the past year i wasn’t even myself..like i was someone else..not caring for anything, i love my bf , my affection for him didn’t change. i think it even grew, but my love for myself was  gone..i didn’t give it any importance, it’S scary how routine can transform a person in such a lifeless thing.i stopped doing what i like, reading and taking care of myself, writting..just waiting for the days to go by, i think this is what depression is, you don’t even realize it until it lifts… i had no real reason to be depressed..i just gave up on myself, for no reason. That is scary, i am thinking about the facts that brought me here, i didn’t want to socialize with ppl anymore, talk to anyone, not even my mother..if i try to thing what i did last summer i can’T, it’s like i was sleeping and just woke up..4 month ago, after the new year my feelings started to change..i am trying to do the exact opposite of what i want..like eat all the sweets are just lay and not do anything. I still have a lot of working to do, but i do hope i change. The first change i am trying to make is the easy one, my aperreance, and then my soul and mind need mending. I shall try to learn more. I start reading The Prince Lestat, the new Anne Rice book, if this doesn’t bring back old Koko, nothing will, i just hope i didn’t lost to much of myself…i started enjoying cooking again.I made bread today😀. it turned out quite good, all poofy and tasty.I worked out today:D, that always boosts my morale..it is so frightening how easily we can loose ourselves in our daily lives without noticing the lack of self improvement and not going forward , it is important to remember never stop reading, never stop learning, never forget about yourself..

Sleepless night


What is it about sleepless nights that give me sometimes so much energy, or rather will to live. Why do i find such pleasure in staying up and watching seasons of anime or movies, or this night catching up with Season 2 of The Originals, i have always loved my vampire stories. I don’T know what it is about them , vampires, that keep me so fascinated and intrigued, ever since i read my first vampire book, or seen a movie( even though vampire movies are very bad usually, there are some goof ones). I wanted to say that my first book i have read about vampires was Anne Rice, but no. The first one was the classic : Dracula by Bram Stoker . My mother had it in her library and i was pretty young when i read it, i was like 12, hmm parental advisory didn’t really apply back then i guess, because kids weren’t pussies like they are now. I sound like an old woman, back in my day, we weren’t complete retards, but i guess it’s the educational system and the lack of attention that kids get from parents that make them so influenced by anything they see, i suppose they just lack the proper guidance.It did give me nightmares though, but i liked it. Usually when i see a horror movie it sticks with me and i am scared about it, like The Grudge, that thing still scares me when i closes my eyes to wash my face, but not vampires, i am never scared of them in my moments in dark places.I guess my fascination beats the fear. I am also from Bistrita, Transylvania, ironically enough, so i can tell you for sure that Transylvanians are not bloodsucking creatures. The character Bram Stoker based his book on,was a voievod of ours, some kind of a king, who was infamous for the impaling of the turks that tried to take over our country, he was actually pretty awesome, he was feared by turks and romanians alike. There was a saying, that during his rule there were golden cups at the fountains to drink with and nobody would steal  them in fear of him. i think all romanians kind off admire him, even now..if he only could come back and impale our corrupt government that is destroying any future our country could ever hope for, i would be so happy.We used to have great kings and a proud people, i hope the romanian people will find it in their hearts to be barbarians and proud as we were .But i guess i’m just babbling from a recent found desire to see my home country at it’s glory that it could have, if that makes any sense.

So anyway, vampires….i have been reading, watching everything i could find, and when i see those movies with a ton of blood and mindless monsters they annoy me, because i believe that an immortal being like that should have kept its wits, but what do i know, it was love at first site when i started reading about Lestat and his companions and the style in witch they carried themselves…ahh..Prince Lestat, how can i buy you sooner..cause i preordered it on Amazon and apparently they have no copies until December..i don’t really like to read on my computer, not such important books, i want to held it in my hands and smell it, i’m a freak about books, if only i could find a job as a librarian..just dreams.That would be my dream jobs, to fondle books every day, i guess that’s my fetish:)) .

I find myself at 9 am , just finished my last episode and have to wait for a week for the next one, i hate it when i have to wait for episodes , When i watch anime or series i usually try to choose the ones that are already finished so i can marathon them , i  don’t have patience in waiting to know what will happen next. i got that from all the books i have read, because there you can read until your head hurts until you can finish the story, unlike Game of Thrones, or should i say A song of ice and fire, still waiting mister G.R R. Martin, still waiting…

I started this post as a replenish off my need to write..once in a while i feel the need to write and i come here, on my forgotten blog so i can pour my words , not on my computer, i usually forget where i save the files.Or perhaps the idea  of sharing them appeals to me so much that i come here and write my stuff, or is it just ..now i am translating myself the word form german, the one i mean to use, oh yes habit..Funny how this things happen when you know more than one language , i sometimes forget the words in my native language and only know them in english, or this case german.  I always have some kind of a new resolution that i want to see on paper or screen, and writing helps me point it down, but i also fall a lot from the trail so bare with me, i have written 872 words by know, without mentioning, without mentioning the reason that got me on this page again..i was thinking about myself and my fear to let go, just let go and not be concerned about my future and the pressing need of money to get it, i shall try to live more and worry less, if i can manage that, why do women have this gene predisposed to worrying way to much and losing sight of what is important, you’re peace of mind and the pink that you need in your life to balance the black or the gloomy.i think i am going to sleep now, my head hurts.

I worked out


So i worked out today, i cleaned my room and the house, i had a pretty productive day. I have to organize my wardrobe but i’m not in the mood right now. I am proud of myself, i made something productive today. Even writing this makes me happy that i do something other that browsing 9 gag, so i got that going for me, which is nice:) .

Yesterday i have spent all day traveling by car around Germany, the Munchen part with my bf, my sis and a friend. We had to drop of my dad to his new place where he will be working. I t was like a field trip:D I needed it.:)

Trying to keep an update


I’m such a lazy person, not writing, i guess i was just busy and distracted by other stuff.You find yourself trying to divide your time when you work full time,like i do now. I finally found a steady job and it has been a little time consuming because i work in a new field , that i didn’t know a lot about so it took a little time of adjustment,like 3 months. Normally i don’t need that much time, but learning new stuff in  a different language is a little bit tricky . I can honestly say i can due in the german language now, it took me a year but now i got more confident every day with my skills. I guess working with ppl would do that.I am kinda trying to become more productive, i feel the need to write again and do stuff .

I am internet addicted, i just can’t let a day go past without browsing 9gag and memecenter and then some youtube,for several hours, do i am trying to create other habits for myself that are more productive. i feel like the time i spend there is time lost ina  way, because it flies away and then i get nothing done. i spent so much time jobless, like a year and i started spending all of my time online, and when i started working i felt like i didn’t have time for me anymore. My addiction to the relaxing environment that i have created for myself got me to a depressing level, where i started hating the fact i work, so i said i need to put a stop to it.I was never an active person , unfortunately, and now , trying to get more active and productive is an actual struggle. I started going to the gym, i gained a lot of weight not doing anything, even the usual chores around the house have became a burden , all i wanted to do is stay online.So i tell you ppl, don’t  like me. i shall start a self imposed schedule. it is weird that when you become an adult and you are accountable for your own time, no one tells you what  to do so you get indulgent about  yourself and become less and less and adult, t a child during summer break. So  started thinking, what am i going to do when i do get married and have my own house and some kids. I have no discipline, i would never survive doing all the stuff that must be done just by opening the notebook and surfing the net. I need to improve myself, i have became a partial vegetable. all this free time and no obligations have made me weak. I guess that’S why human kind thrives in a crisis, they get motivated to survive.

i caught up with the new The Walking Dead season,5, first episode today, it was awesome btw, just awesome, if you haven’t seen it , you should. I was thinking, i would never survive a crisis the way i am now. If there were zombies, and they were chasing me uphill, i’m a goner right there, i would just roll over them, i have no physical endurance and no combat skills, no leaving in the wild skills, nothing. i think this times of leisure has made us weak and we should change that. Start becoming more involved in the things around you because they do matter.The thing that i like most about germans is that they are very disciplined and outgoing, also very nice, i have never met people so nice in my life. They also work out a lot, bicycles, running, you name it. They do it as a past time, as a hobby, they enjoy it. Not just because they have to, but because they like it.So i’m trying to do that now, start being more active and productive. I have to start using my free time, not just for sitting in bed and browsing the net but to actual do stuff that i think of doing. I really want to knit myself some stuff, like a skirt and a poncho. I bought all the materials but i just keep them on my desk, also i have started with my sister , to make some kind of accessories stuff for women, i will post some pictures soon. I bought all i needed but i have done like 10 medallions,, that is pitifully..So i managed today to do a little bit of work-out, some painting and some writing Now i will just have to increase the doze every day:D

It´s May, a rant is due


Apparently i haven´t written anything here in 5 months , i’m such a lazy ass, seriously, i need to step up my game, lol. So i have been working a lot for the last 3 months, a lot in like 28 days a month, i was so happy to finally land a job in Germany i din´t care anymore about how much i worked or what i did. I worked in a cafe for some italians in Germany, weird how this happens.At first it was all ok i learned quickly what i had to do and improved my german skills, i am quite good now, let my just congratulate myself for this. And then i worked and i worked and i worked and i couldn´t get any free time anymore, at all, i had like 2 free weekends in 3 months, 2 . I just became deppressed and tired all the time, i couldn´t enjoy anything anymore. I didn´t have time for my bf, my house, i got a new cool house now, apartment, it,s a rental of course but i like it😀. it’s a total mess now because i didn’t have time to clean it in ages. The only thing that could make me feel a little more better was watching Sailor Moon sometimes when i could last more than half an hour to go to sleep at night. I had a work schedule of 8 hours a day 12 days and then one week-end free, cand you imagine what that feels like, and i had to work from  like 10.00 to 19:00, all my day was gone , and the tiredness omg, that was something. i couldn’t understand why, i worked hard jobs before but this was different. And i worked with my boss, italian woman of 47 years old and an albanish woman, 25. At first they helped me and were ok and then when i started knowing everything that i had to do they stoped , and stayed in the back room that we called the office and gossiped while i was alone working. I was litterally the only one that made the money. i didn’ t mind the work, i like being active and talking to people, even if the cafe was in a hospital with people with mental diseases. i  could write a book about all the people that were coming there, i didn’t mind them, i just pitied them for not being able to have a normal life  and thought about the events in their lives that made them loose it. but the fact of just me working ,every day, and my coworkers to just sit around and talk. I didn’t have time to eat  or drink water, and i gained weight instead of loosing weight because of the stress i had to handle every day. i had no life anymore. i just couldn’t handle it anymore, not the fatigue or the bad character of my boss and her want to work me as a slave. the pay wasn’t even that good, i had like 3 euros per hour, witch here is very little, the minimum should be 8,5 . And she didn’t even hire me, she said she did, but i never saw a work contract or anything, which let me to believe i wasn’t registered at the local work force  . Germany is very keen in upholding the laws and having a worker unregistered can cost the owner 15.000 euros , but i guess she was fine with that, because she could see i was a good person and i would never deliberately hurt someone or do anyone harm, no matter how bad they treated me. I don’t believe in revenge or responding to evil with evil, unless you try to rape me or something, then you’re dead motherfucker. i stopped feeling like a person anymore, i understand now why governments try to enslave people in work, they can not think for themselves anymore, they can not feel, nor have the time to do so.This was squashing my personality and my body, so i said no more. I need money but i am lucky that my boyfriend still works and that i can always rely on him, he agreed with me that leaving this job was the best thing for us, didn’t have any time for him anymore, i was always cranky and dissatisfied. i will try to choose my job wisely next time. From Monday on i will be really careful for what i choose to do. I start looking for other jobs from tomorrow on. i hope i will be luckier or wiser. I think i need wisdom more than i need luck.

So i guess lesson learned, do not let anyone consider you as their property just because they pay your salary, you are not bound to your job. Sadly you are bound to the money you have to make to survive. i got a taste  of  how millions of people live their lives, in frustration and a lot of work, body ache .The people that work and enjoy and feel satisfied at the end of the day have more happiness that they realize. Earning your pay and not feeling like there is no hope for your life is a feeling that not a lot of people have, it is sad. sad times we are living if man is still considering his workers not his equals but a tool to gain money. And the lies, so many lies to give you a false sense of security or friendship just to earn a little more bucks. What despicable  creatures makes money out of us, i really think we should drop all currencies and go back to the early ages when everyone worked together just to survive the next winter (i am watching the Vikings, great show). i think ppl lost sight of what is important and that in unity we are stronger, and we are never truly equal unless we discard our sense of being the better man and just accept that we are all the same and strive for the same goals. I know there are a lot of people less fortunate that i am and i thank , i wanted to say god but i don#t really believe anymore, Christians have become to greedy for my taste and i can see a lot of breaches and lies hidden in the core of the Christianity that make me distasteful for this religion. I wish we started taking back the old gods that made us fearful to destroy the nature not in right to do as we please with the creatures of this earth, except for the human sacrifices which i think were a little over the top. The old gods were rougher like the earth and i think more suiting to the bitch that life is.So hail Odin bitches!!!

DO not let people belittle you, i truly believe that we choose our lives and how we live them so risks may be a better thing than just suffering and a false sense of security.Just writing this article that i know no one reads on the old fashioned writing blog, everyone vlogs now, but i i find more comfort in written words than in filming alone and talking to a camera. Writing suits me and soothes me . i think i also looked at my dream of becoming a writer falsely, i should write for making something beautiful and important not to become famous and have money, stupid economical world, that learns children to live their dreams for financial benefits not something to fuel your soul and make you content.

P.S  Vikings will have a post of their own soon i think, i just finished watching the second season and i think it is a very well made series and very accurate, fuck history lessons, watch this movie and weep for the loss of the human greatness.