Presonal Legend

I have read the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, again, today. I read it in like 3 hours. ANd aferwards i tried thinking about my personal legend. For those few (i hope) that didn’t read this awesome book your personal legend is about the thing you want to do most in life. The thing you dream off and if u dare go after it. I hadn’t read „The secret book” or seen the film, but i guess it the same principle from what i heard. Believe in yourself, believe in the Universe to work with you to achieve your dreams.And the most important thing is not to give up,ever. Never stop dreaming . All the beings in this world are linked and written by the same hand, therefore if u wish for something so bad that u are able to actually go for it the soul of the world will help u achieve it.I like the concept and i had read enough in my young years to know you have to want something to get it. It’s like that line in Sucker Punch: „If you don’t stand for something you will fall for everything”. I think it;s very inspiring, you have to be able to see what you want so you can actually get it. „Visualize, believe” like good Connor MacManus says in BDS:All Saint’s Day. I have encountered this way of thinking in a lot off successful ppl so they have to know what they are saying. But i think the most important and difficult thing is to know what you want. I have been thinking all day what my personal legend is. What should i pursue? And the thing is i just can’t see it. In the book they say u realize what your biggest dream is when you are young because u are more open to listen to your hearts voice. But mine has been silenced.
When i was a young girl i just wanted to work with books because i loved them so much, the stories that helped my bittersweet childhood pass easier were so dear to my heart. But know that i am 23 , finished college, economics, bleah…Now i’m at that point when i have to find a job , provide for myself, start living my dreams. But i can’t. I can’t find a job that i would enjoy working. I can’t see anything. No opportunities. Have i gotten so lazy that i am not willing to work anymore? Have i gotten so sad about life that i lost my will to live it? The best advice i ever got is not to dwell in the past. Live for the present, not the future. If u plan your hole life u won’t be able to live it until u get all your plans done and that could take years. So live for now. Easier said than done. Now, what am i doing now. I’m sitting in my bed, a little sad, with my notebook on my lap tipping and hoping to find my meaning in life.The most enjoyable moment in my day today was the little coffee(it was actually little) i drank this morning after wakening up for nothing. I had something like an interview but couldn’t find the location so gave up. I’m used to giving up lately.I wanted to go to gym afterwards so went to have a cofee until i had my gym appointment. I went to a near by coffee place i always fancied (i’m so british, well i’m european after all). It;s kind of an artist place with posters on walls and rock fm on the radio. My kind off place until i started losing my personality and started doing what normal ppl do. i was alone so i did what i always do, wrote something in my little notebook i carry in my bag. i felt at peace. I miss this kind off places so much.I miss my old rock friends. There were a bunch of teenagers there , it was 10 am and they were drinking beer. Reminded me off the old days when i used to skip school and go to a coffee shop, but i drank hot chocolate. I was always to nice. I so miss those times, i have to remember to dream again. What should i dream about. Yes i want to be a writer but i don;t have enough trust in myself. I never finish anything i start. SHould post some off my ideas to know what ppl think about them. I just want to find myself again. Where did i go, when did i lost myself? Somewhere in college i guess. To busy to get my hearth torn a part and work a lot i forgot what my goals were.I have to find them again. I want them back. I want to be happy again. I want to be able to smile more than an ironic smile or some fake laugh from some stupid movie( they don’t make comedies like they used to, i don;t think gross stuff is funny and here i mention Due Date, didn’t like it a lot,was expecting more)Hmm i guess i can write a whole novel about my personal legend. Hope i will nail it and write about how i got to live it. Hope i will. This is my weeks assignment for myself.Decide what you want and then get it. It’s that easy but i’m afraid that something easy is also something bad. We are so used to get everything the hard way we forget there is an easy way.Like waiting for the job you want/like. I am such a child to think i should like where i work . I don’t want my first real job to be something i hate. i just hope for the best. Positive thinking. We are what we think we are and we are the only ones that stand between us and Happiness.Believe that u can be a better person, believe in love. Love is so important we don’t even realize how much we miss it until we have it. To love your job, your mom, your dad, your shirt,your cat, your friend, your phone, your cousin. Just love. Why is something so simple being turned in something to hard to get? Because we think it’s not good if it’s not worth fighting for it.But why should we fight for something we are entitled to have. God destined us to love, we can think so we can feelings therefore we must love. Human nature is destructive but also creative. Simplicity was lost when money were invented. Have more, be more not love more. It’s sad that we have forgotten our essence of being.The human is an animal that needs to socialize to be happy, wrong, all we need is love. Really! If u love yourself more u won;t let any bastard be mean to you and be unhappy. I think all feelings come from love or rather the lack off love. i want to be a better person and i want to be me again. The sweet girl that thought she can save the world.I just have to save myself now, cause i lost myself and i need to find me again. SO i can remember what my legend is and were to find it and what decisions to take to get there. Wish me luck!

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