Well, recently all my days are lazy, i am still waiting to get a job in the UK, been waiting for almost 3 months now. I am beyond bored and stressed out for sitting and surfing the net all day. I’m becoming restless and annoyed. Its hard to not work after you are used to it. Earning your keep is so rewarding . I have been working since i was 19. I am 25 , almost now, and live with my parents and have no income for now. That is so frustrating.i should be working out or something but i have lost the will to do anything productive. I feel like i am waiting for my life to happen, to start, like i am in a time-out or something. Im lucky i have my boyfriend beside me, cause we are in this together, otherwise i would go crazy.
I was wondering how would it be if we chosed the way we lived and it’s funny cause it only depends on us, but still we don’t usually do the right moves. I think i want that and that but i rarely do something about it. I’m such a pussy, i always think i should change but i don’t. The fact that we are our own worst enemy is true. Nothing keeps me from doing what i want but myself. Damn lazy ass. I was watching the latest webisode from Anna Akana. Cause that’s what i do, i stalk ppl on the internet:)). It was about her daddy being right. She said he taught her about discipline and being a better adult now. I so wish my parents would have educated me..lol.. most of the parents don’t know how to do that. of course we like to blame someone for our failures so i usually blame them, which is not fair çause i am the one that has to change my discipline. But still it would have been nice if i would have been already indoctrinated about it.
I’m in love with Lana del Rays’Ride, i think it is such a sad and touching video. I like to listen to it when i am like today, weird and depressed. I sometimes wish i am free. Yea, not about being with my bf, i love him, like be free from life. I think life has become so restrictive this days. I wish i could go in the mountains and live of the land or something. Away from everything, bills, cities , humans.
i should stop wallowing and man up.I will try to change my life how i want it. I think i should write a list of wants and try to achieve them. Will try this asap. i don’t know if someone actually reads my blog, but i don’t really care cause this blog was always meant for me. It is a i was here(Beyonce) kind of thing for me and to practice my writing But if there are ppl reading it i would love to know what you think about life nowadays and self improvement. I don’t think i am the only one feeling this.
Over and out.
link for Lana del Rey Ride:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py_-3di1yx0
link for Anna Akana:http://www.youtube.com/user/annaakana
abd also Jenna Marbles whom i adore:D :http://www.youtube.com/user/jennamarbles