Sleepless night

What is it about sleepless nights that give me sometimes so much energy, or rather will to live. Why do i find such pleasure in staying up and watching seasons of anime or movies, or this night catching up with Season 2 of The Originals, i have always loved my vampire stories. I don’T know what it is about them , vampires, that keep me so fascinated and intrigued, ever since i read my first vampire book, or seen a movie( even though vampire movies are very bad usually, there are some goof ones). I wanted to say that my first book i have read about vampires was Anne Rice, but no. The first one was the classic : Dracula by Bram Stoker . My mother had it in her library and i was pretty young when i read it, i was like 12, hmm parental advisory didn’t really apply back then i guess, because kids weren’t pussies like they are now. I sound like an old woman, back in my day, we weren’t complete retards, but i guess it’s the educational system and the lack of attention that kids get from parents that make them so influenced by anything they see, i suppose they just lack the proper guidance.It did give me nightmares though, but i liked it. Usually when i see a horror movie it sticks with me and i am scared about it, like The Grudge, that thing still scares me when i closes my eyes to wash my face, but not vampires, i am never scared of them in my moments in dark places.I guess my fascination beats the fear. I am also from Bistrita, Transylvania, ironically enough, so i can tell you for sure that Transylvanians are not bloodsucking creatures. The character Bram Stoker based his book on,was a voievod of ours, some kind of a king, who was infamous for the impaling of the turks that tried to take over our country, he was actually pretty awesome, he was feared by turks and romanians alike. There was a saying, that during his rule there were golden cups at the fountains to drink with and nobody would steal  them in fear of him. i think all romanians kind off admire him, even now..if he only could come back and impale our corrupt government that is destroying any future our country could ever hope for, i would be so happy.We used to have great kings and a proud people, i hope the romanian people will find it in their hearts to be barbarians and proud as we were .But i guess i’m just babbling from a recent found desire to see my home country at it’s glory that it could have, if that makes any sense.

So anyway, vampires….i have been reading, watching everything i could find, and when i see those movies with a ton of blood and mindless monsters they annoy me, because i believe that an immortal being like that should have kept its wits, but what do i know, it was love at first site when i started reading about Lestat and his companions and the style in witch they carried themselves…ahh..Prince Lestat, how can i buy you sooner..cause i preordered it on Amazon and apparently they have no copies until December..i don’t really like to read on my computer, not such important books, i want to held it in my hands and smell it, i’m a freak about books, if only i could find a job as a librarian..just dreams.That would be my dream jobs, to fondle books every day, i guess that’s my fetish:)) .

I find myself at 9 am , just finished my last episode and have to wait for a week for the next one, i hate it when i have to wait for episodes , When i watch anime or series i usually try to choose the ones that are already finished so i can marathon them , i  don’t have patience in waiting to know what will happen next. i got that from all the books i have read, because there you can read until your head hurts until you can finish the story, unlike Game of Thrones, or should i say A song of ice and fire, still waiting mister G.R R. Martin, still waiting…

I started this post as a replenish off my need to write..once in a while i feel the need to write and i come here, on my forgotten blog so i can pour my words , not on my computer, i usually forget where i save the files.Or perhaps the idea  of sharing them appeals to me so much that i come here and write my stuff, or is it just i am translating myself the word form german, the one i mean to use, oh yes habit..Funny how this things happen when you know more than one language , i sometimes forget the words in my native language and only know them in english, or this case german.  I always have some kind of a new resolution that i want to see on paper or screen, and writing helps me point it down, but i also fall a lot from the trail so bare with me, i have written 872 words by know, without mentioning, without mentioning the reason that got me on this page again..i was thinking about myself and my fear to let go, just let go and not be concerned about my future and the pressing need of money to get it, i shall try to live more and worry less, if i can manage that, why do women have this gene predisposed to worrying way to much and losing sight of what is important, you’re peace of mind and the pink that you need in your life to balance the black or the gloomy.i think i am going to sleep now, my head hurts.